Yang Pernah Ku sayang

Pertemuan kita beberapa tahun yang lalu telah merubah hidup I sayang. I tak tahu mengapa tetapi I merasakan yang U sangat istimewa di hati I F.A. Sayang I pada you xkan merubah apa2 pun coz I really2 need you in my life. Walaupun sesekali I seperti menyesal bertemu dengan you. Bayangan you sering muncul di benak sehinggakan I susah hendak melupakan you. Walaupun I  Berjaya melupakan you buat seketika waktu dahulu apabila bersama F tetapi bayangan you menjelma semula apabila hubungan I dan F berakhir tnpa titik noktah. I ikut segala apa kemahuan you coz I really2 love u so much sehinggakan I hilang pertimbangan. Setiap malam I menangis memikirkan pasal you and pasal F. I luv both of you coz both of you change myself. Kerna kasih dan sayang, I turuti kemahuan you untuk menjaga segala harta benda you semasa ketiadaan you di Malaysia. I juga merahsiakan status hubungan kita daripada pengetahuan sesiapa pun termasuk rakan2 I. I hanya memberitahu mereka yang you just my beloved cousin. Since 2009, we’re hide our relationship and then you introduced me to ur friend’s sister, A, to make sure that our secret are tightly tie up. The way A treat me was so good and so warm. She make me felt in love with her and change my personality. I start to built up my self confidence and became more brave with others. I just think that I only had her but I forgot that everybody owns her. Our Seperation on 14/4/2010 already give me the big impact. For the whole month I lost my path, always crying, my self confidence was very low during that time coz I can’t accept that I’ve losing her as MY BABY.  I felt really guilty coz hurt her and if I had the time machine, I want to repeat the old memories and ask for forgiveness from her. I x salah kan you baby coz you bukan penyebab I jadi mcm ni. I dunno where are you now, I cant find you and ur number already changed. I hope I can find you one fine day and ask you to marry me coz I think that you are the right girl for me.

Perkenalan I dgn F bukanlah sesuatu yang dirancang. Selepas SPM, I berkenalan dengan F di dalam laman sosial. I x sangka coz kami akhirnya berjumpa setelah sekian lama kami hanya bercakap melalui telefon and chatting. But, after all I did for you, you just ignored me like that. I sanggup tinggalkan H untuk you , spend my time almost with you everyday. But, after i fall for you, u tell me that u have a BF. During that time, I feel so guilty bcoz ur BF is my Tagged’s friend. I did not expected that. When you tell me that u will go to Egypt, I feel like I will losing you coz I started to love you and make me forgot about Ferr and Amylea but after 2 months we were together, you started to show ur true colours. I try to make OUR relationship more meaningful but it seems that you trying to avoid me. I really2 appreciated our moment together. Sunway Pyramid are the witnesses of our relationship. Pyramid was our dating place and Lagoon Perdana Apartment was our home together.  I x tahu di mana silapnya, semua yang I sayang mula meninggalkan I. Sedangkan I sayang orang tu sgt2. Selama beberapa bulan aku cuba melupakan dye tapi aku tak berupaya. Aku tak tahu kenapa aku sayang sngat kat dye, padahal antara kami tiada hubungan istimewa. Aku cuba menyembunyikan kedukaan aku di sebalik senyuman sejuta wajah tapi aku tidak boleh membendungnya. Aku pergi ke kelas dengan keadaan mata bengkak, mata merah, sakit perot, demam, mata berair semuanya kerana tangisan aku setiap malam. Setelah 4 bulan berlalu, akhirnya aku tewas. Aku kembali mencari dia semula dan merayu kasih kembali. Bagi aku, tiada salahnya sebab dia pun dah single tapi itu mungkin tidak dpt mengubah apa2. Aku still berharap  lagi dengan dia pada masa itu tetapi mungkin tiada jodoh antara kita.